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25 May 2009 @ 09:18 am
I need to start posting more often so my entries aren't 8 pages long. Lots of things happen in 4 months.

We went to the monster trucks in January...that was cool, the kids had a blast there. Went to NC in late Feb/March, also had a great time. It was nice to see some people again and meet some of the new people. I missed some of the people who weren't there this year though.

Since then... the boy has been doing well on his meds, and we were supposed to go to the Sick Kids hospital in Toronto for his consult earlier this month but were unable to go, so I'm waiting for his new appt in the mail. He'll have to be tested for the anesthetic allergy that runs in his Father's side of the family before his surgery. Scary times for Mommy.

I have hit 30. I was freaked out about this but decided instead to use it to my advantage and take control of things. I got myself a gym membership for my birthday, will be going 3 days a week for the first month and then bumping up to 5. The Kidd wrote out a routine for me, he obviously knows a lot more about it than I do seeming as he's been doing it for 20 something years. His friend also helped write out a guideline for me as far as eating...I'm pretty damn excited about this. Have to call the gym today to make an appt for tomorrow to talk to a guy and have a tour and stuff. Wednesday the Kidd will come over and go with me for my first day, go through my routine, and then again Friday. After that I'm on my own.

I won't see him for a month or so, as he has to wait for his passport card to come in before he can cross the border again. This will suck but I'll deal. The relationship itself has been weird with the on again off again BS. Us being friends has been working out well though and things may work out alright in the end, who knows.
11 January 2009 @ 09:48 pm
Well this weekend was a good one and a bad one. The Kidd came over yesterday for dinner, after the boy went to bed we watched a couple movies and then went to bed. He had to be up and out early to get back to the states and be at the gym by 11 to meet his training buddies. Time flew by, as it usually does, seemed like he just got here and was leaving again.

My back hurt this morning, had some troubles...laid down later on in the morning to read and fell asleep...woke up and was, for the first time, actually unable to get up. Called the Mother to let her know we wouldn't be coming for dinner and spent the next 90 minutes trying to get off the couch. I was in agony. Worst it's ever been. I finally got up...obviously...and stayed up for the rest of the day just in case it happens again. I have all the kids things ready for tomorrow in case I can't get out of bed again. Still in a lot of pain but it's better at least. The Kidd is going to grab some lower back exercise stuff for me to take a look at from his gym. I'll try them out and see if they do anything.

Monster trucks on Saturday! I'm way excited, Kidd is too. He got the tickets via FedEx, so we're set there, I got the pit passes and the earplugs. All good. I expect to be gone at least 12 hours..leaving my house around 12:30...driving to Toronto, finding somewhere to park, attending the Pit Party. After the party will go to the deli for dinner that's around the corner and within walking distance, and then back for 7:30 when it actually starts up. I figure its going to be at least a few hours long, plus the traffic and drive back....I don't see us getting home before midnight. Which is fine, kids will fall asleep, Kidd and I can talk and then probably straight to bed for all of us when we get back. Sunday he already took off from the gym, told the guys he wouldn't be there so he doesn't have to rush out in the AM. Will probably take the kids out to breakfast/lunch before he heads out again.

Have to get my plane ticket for NC next week, I don't want to fly but really have no other choices. I don't want to take the train for 20 something hours, nor the bus for 30 something. So..flying it is. I'll survive. Should be a good time but there will be some people missing this year that I'll miss :(
06 January 2009 @ 08:44 am
Well...it's been a busy freakin New Year so far. It started out great, had a hiccup, and then things were good again.

The Kidd got here, we loaded up the truck with everything, and then took the boy to my friends house for the night. Made it to the border by 6:30, got over with no problems. Stopped by his place to pick up some things he needed and went to the hotel. Unfortunately the bad ass dude friend wasn't working until 10 so that went some of our plans for before-dinner action. We drove around looking for a coffee place that was open but we failed. Back to the hotel, hung out and watched tv until 9, then got all dressed up like grown ups for dinner. Dinner was amazing, this Romanello's South place was great. We waited in the 'lounge' for our table, had a drink, and about 5 minutes later, were shown to our table. After some fresh baked bread, salad and shrimp...our prime rib arrived. Oh...my....god. It was fantastic. Once we were able to move again, we left, went to the hotel to get changed and headed to the casino. My first casino experience. It was pretty neat, we played the cheap slots, moved around a bit to see different ones and rung in the New Year with everyone there. A good experience being out for the first time in 9 years for this night.

The Kidd was supposed to come Sat for a quiet night in, dinner, movies, that sort of thing. Had a BRO meeting on Saturday, was my dad's first meeting as Chairman, and that went well. Then The Kidd texts me saying he needs to think....that blindsided me. Finally found out the next day his ex wife called him up out of the blue, crying her eyes out. Shook him up a bit. We talked, he told me that he told her he doesn't want to get back together with her and thinks she may have heard through the grapevine that he and I were together, causing this out of the blue call. Things are fine now, and I think will continue to be from now on. He said they won't be speaking again.

On the 17th, we're taking the kids to Toronto to the Monster Jam, they are obsessed with these monster trucks right now, in particular, Gravedigger, who just so happens is going to be there. We're getting Pit Passes, so the kids can go down right in the pit, see the trucks, meet the drivers and get autographs. They're going to freak out. I'm not telling them what we're doing, we're just going to get in the truck and go, and surprise them. Should be a fun day.
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Just Dance
29 December 2008 @ 10:00 am
Well, Christmas was good, the kids had a blast which was good. They got lots of stuff so I had no need to worry, as I do every year that I haven't gotten them enough, but they knew this year would be smaller than other years. They still liked what they got and had a good time with the family. The girl went to her dad's on Christmas day after dinner and the boy went to his Father's on Boxing day for a couple days, so the Kidd came over Friday night...just did dinner here and a couple movies. The girl came home Saturday and the boy, Sunday. So since then we've been playing guitar hero most of the time :p They got World Tour, so we've had the drums, the singing, and the guitar going, it's been fun. The girl goes back to her Dad's today until school starts so she'll be gone for almost a week.

Wednesday...the Kidd and I go out for New Years. I'm quite excited about this, will be my first time going out and doing something in 9 years. He got us a room in Hamburg, and made reservations for us at this place, whose name I now have to go look up because I forget. Romanello's South. Apparently a pretty fancy place so I need to haul out my closet and see if I have something to wear, and if not, then go shopping. Going to go visit one of his friends, grab something little to eat, get our room key and get changed for actual dinner a bit later on, and then after dinner, go to the casino. Should be a fun night I think, and I'm totally looking forward to it and spending the time with him. Then we'll head home on Thursday and pick up the boy from my friends house. Should be a good time, I'm sure I will update after that. Happy New Year to all of you :)
18 December 2008 @ 01:38 am
Hmm, it's been awhile. Almost Christmas time, things have been busy.

Almost done Christmas shopping, just my parents and a few things left to buy for the kids, and that will be it.

D moved to Ontario...that was weird. He just kind of left everything behind, which I didn't see him pulling. His job, his kid...he better hope to hell this girl is worth it, some things...you don't get back. I'm ok with things though...I have other things to concentrate on than that. It's pointless.

Saturday is a big day..the Kidd is coming over for dinner, then we're taking the girl to a Christmas party and the boy to a friends for the night, and then we're heading to my Christmas Party for BRO. Will have to pop out to get the girl and meet her dad so he can take her and then back to the party, then once that gets old, back to my house for a movie. I'm looking forward to it. Apparently his buddy has a night planned for us over in Hamburg/Buffalo one night, he wants to meet me. Should be interesting to say the least :p Things are going well though, no drama, no BS, which suits me just fine.

Hmm what else. I've been sick, which is great, lack of sleep is just about killing me. Hoping that goes away soon so I can sleep properly again. The kids Christmas concert is tomorrow night, they are both reindeer :P Should be interesting...and long. The boy is also getting an award at school Friday morning so I'll be going to see him get that. He is off his meds and seems to be doing well, still need to speak with the Dr about putting him back on the lower dosage as these ones are just too strong and screw with him too much. His teacher had been noticing a pretty decent difference at school though, so..we'll see.

Dates for NC are set, just have to decide how I'm going to get there as I'm not too keen on the idea of flying out of the area at the end of Feb when the weather absolutely sucks. Could take the train but it would mean a 5 hour layover in downtown New York until 3am...I'm not digging that idea. So, we'll see. Need to suck it up and get there one way or another.

Time to attempt sleep, hopefully I'll remember to get back here and update a little more often >
Current Mood: awakeawake
26 September 2008 @ 12:04 pm
Taking a little break from cleaning. It was needed what with the leg. Oh yeah, the leg. So...I fell out of a doorway. That's right, right out of the doorway and out into the sidewalk. My Warhammer game came in the mail and I wasn't here so had to go to the...hardware store (??) to pick it up. Coming out, there was a little 3 inch step...which I managed to miss almost completely, my heel came down on it and my ankle kind of folded over and down I went. Scraped up the side of my foot and back of one of my hands. The leg is doing better, swelling is gone but it is still pretty stiff and sore. I fail.

I was supposed to go away this weekend to see EJ and then to see teh Squeeks. Neither is happening now, so instead both my children are leaving tonight until Sunday. I'm officially joining BRO (Bikers Rights Organization) this weekend and going to help out at a poker run tomorrow at one of the stops here in town and then going out to party tomorrow night with a bunch of bikers. I'm looking forward to it.

I was supposed to go next weekend to the Kitty's house for a birthday thing but am having some major issues trying to get a rental car, they don't make it easy. So...if I can't figure out how to do this, I'll be staying home. Which is fine, I really have better things to be spending that money on...like the massive amount of bills I seem to have suddenly. I'll make it out there another time.

My parents are holding a bike run in a few weeks for the local animal shelter. My Dad was driving by and saw a sign saying they were in desperate need of cat food. So we're holding a run to raise some money, ending at the parents house and a party, of course. My Dad will go buy some food for the shelter with the proceeds and take it. They're calling it the Gretchen Run after their own cat. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, in general. my Dad has a real soft spot for animals and kids, even though you'd never know it to look at him :)

Off to finish cleaning and laundry so I can pack the kids bags for the weekend.

As a side note...it's been a couple weeks now, and things haven't gotten any easier. I'll be damned if I know what to do.

Current Music: Rihanna - Disturbia
20 September 2008 @ 01:46 am
Not really a whole lot to report, things are pretty normal around here these days. Kids going to school...the typical cleaning and housework etc. The boy went to a fall fair today and learned how to milk a cow. He was very excited by this. He said a lady with a camera took his picture by the cow and wrote down his name, so we're thinking local paper. We'll have to keep an eye out.

The girl is...frustrating at times :) She is struggling with womanhood and awkwardness. Not much I can do really at this point, except keeping up telling her that she can come to me with anything. She has been so I guess it's working. She's opening up more, telling me how she feels about things and whatnot.

Talked to EJ on the phone tonight for a couple hours. Still can't quite place his accent. it's almost like a cross between...french and dutch, which really makes no sense....I have no clue.

uhm...yeah that might be about it, I'm not very exciting lately.

The kids school did have a meet-the-teacher bbq the other night that we went to. I called Kat to find out if she was going since I knew the kids would end up ditching me to go play. Thankfully her son wanted to come so they came and I had some adults to hang out with for a bit. I already knew both teachers from past years. This is the girls second time to have this teacher, and my sons teacher is one the girl had for 2 years when she was younger. So instead of a meet-the-teacher it was more of a hey-how-ya-been. Kids had fun though. And had dinner. Win.

Done and done, it's bedtime.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: System of a Down
17 September 2008 @ 10:19 am
I'm wondering how long it's going to be before I don't spend a portion of every day in tears. This is a new thing for me and I don't know how to deal with it or what to do with it.

I was having my best friends 2 kids sleep over last weekend, and when I asked mt son, 'Guess who's sleeping over this weekend?!?' his first answer was 'D?' And I said no, and then he asked if he was ever coming back to see us, and I had to say no again. I know it wasn't just me that was impacted by this. It brings up a lot of questions from my son that are hard to answer. Which in turn starts him talking about his Dad, although now he says I have to finish getting divorced so we can find him a new Dad. I only wish it were that easy.

The last time we talked was one of the worst things I've ever gone through in my life. It's not something I wanted to do, but also something I couldn't continue doing. It seems like things shouldn't be that complicated when 2 people are so good together. When that connection is there from the moment you meet someone, where you say, and even type, the same things at the same time. When you can easily spend hours talking about everything, and at the same time, the silences are never uncomfortable. When you're happy to see each other after an absence, and both cry when he has to leave again.

Then...everything falls apart and there's nothing you can do about it. You have no clue it was coming, and no closure. Months later, you're still trying to piece together what it is that happened, but at the same time, not even wanting to know.

I am forever thankful that he was, for that time, such an important part of my life. They were, quite simply, some of the happiest months of my life. I have a hard time believing I'll find that again, and as much as I want to dislike him...it's always short lived.

'And with a sad heart, I say 'Bye' to you and wave'
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: Blue October - Hate me
11 September 2008 @ 09:06 pm
Well, the kids are back to school...I forgot how bored I get. The boy is in a 3/4 split class which is good, and the girl was in a 6/7 split, which was also good, but they changed some things around and she is now in a 5/6 split instead. They are enjoying it so far, and no major issues with anything, which is a plus.

A-man and I are no longer speaking, surprise surprise. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to hit on my best friend, and when she turned him down, somehow that turned into my fault and he hasn't spoken to me since. Oh darn. I'm heartbroken. Or something.

I'm still waiting to hear back from a government job I applied for, hoping that works out. If it does we will still be moving, only staying a bit more in the area instead of further away. If I don't get it, then I'll continue on with our London plans.

The whole thing is very exciting for me, the new change....we're all looking forward to it.

I need to say goodbye to someone. I don't particularly want to, but I need to. They have been a big part of my life for the last year and a bit, and doing this makes me more sad than I can explain. Unfortunately, it must be done, for my own sanity and well being.

Wish me luck for this job.
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
23 August 2008 @ 01:03 am
Figured it was time I maybe did a little update. Hmm...but first have to go check what was going the last time I posted :P Been awhile i guess. We did finally get to see the Dark Knight, took the kids to go see it. They both loved it. I was worried the boy might be scared, so we watched some trailers and he thought the Joker was a little creepy. So, we watched some interviews with Heath Ledger without the makeup so that he could see what the 'Joker' looked like without all the makeup on and stuff. Needless to say, we all ended up having a great time.

I also took the kids to the drive in to see Hancock and Stepbrothers which thankfully the boy slept for most of since it's not exactly geared for kids. We enjoyed Hancock for the most part though.

I finally got that tooth out, dropped the boy off at his sperm donor's house afterwards and spent the night at A-man's. Then came home to have a night to myself. That doesn't happen often.

Not sure if it was mentioned but the girl had to miss her provincial tournament which broke her heart. She hurt her leg again during the playoffs, had to go to the ER and get her x-rayed. It wasn't broken again but she had definitely done a bit of damage, this was a week before provincials, so no way she could play, so we canceled the hotel reservations and went to dinner and the drive in instead.

Her end of season banquet is tomorrow so we'll be heading off to that in the morning, then need to stop and feed the mother's cat and come home to do a little birthday thing, just the 3 of us for her birthday. I have an 11 year old now >< It's really hard to believe how grown up she is. The native in her is coming out more and more every year. It's weird to look back at when she was 2, dirty blond curly hair, very fair skinned...to now with her dark, straight hair and dark complexion. She's about a fraction of an inch shorter than I am so by this time next year she'll be taller than I am.

I've been very depressed the last few weeks due to numerous things. The money situation is always on my mind along with men issues as always. One I have said goodbye to for good, and another I will be shortly. I need that part of my life to be done with. After talking to my mom last night I felt a lot better about things. Most of me being blah is because I want to be moved, and working and just have things be better finally. I don't want to wait and be patient. Unfortunately, I don't have a choice in the matter. I have a lot to get done over the next few weeks house wise, and will hopefully find something part time to get some extra money saved up for the move. 3 bedroom apartments are going for about 720 which isn't all that bad considering it's a bit city. I just hate that things suck so much in the meantime. I do know it will get better...I just, after all these years, want it to hurry up. Then of course my Aunt had to throw in her 2 cents about how things won't be any better even if I'm working. Thanks for that.

Ah well, we don't listen to her much. Kids go back to school in just over a week, they're both excited, and I have to get my ass in gear next Friday and get the rest of their back to school stuff. pay off the layaway, get all their supplies, shoes, etc. I hate back to school time >< Costs an arm, a leg, and sometimes the other arm. More soon. It's time for sleepies.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: Evanescence - Bring me to Life